The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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