He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
My brain says no but my pants say off.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
