Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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