he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize