these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
