Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
