He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
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