Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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