Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
