I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
