He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
