Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
