I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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