My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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