Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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