fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
