maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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