I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
