The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
