the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
