she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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