ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
