dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Send help, water and tortillas.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
