Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
