Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
