Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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