Small penises have feelings too.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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