Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
