As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
