Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
