What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
