false alarm. still invincible.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Randomize
