thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
