Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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