it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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