He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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