do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
your room smells of hookers.
And success
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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