so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
