Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
A bitchslap is in order.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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