I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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