i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
