1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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