How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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