very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
