I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
