Your tits are I can't wait for
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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