Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
