Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Im part way to drunk.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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