you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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