Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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