I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Randomize
