Non-Jews are for practice
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
