It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
