it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Come on in and take your pants off
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
