Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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