why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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