I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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