He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
