A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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