Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
