The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
