Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
