apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
