your parents love me but you hate me
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
