Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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