the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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