he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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